"The year is 50 BC. Gaul is entirely occupied by the Romans. Well, not entirely... One small village of indomitable Gauls still holds out against the invaders. And life is not easy for the Roman legionaries who garrison the fortified camps of Totorum, Aquarium, Laudanum and Compendium."[1]
There is a saying about India. I think it goes something like this - "Whatever you say about India is true. Simultaneously, the opposite is also true." The West probably thinks about Indians as a bunch of snake charmers and cow worshippers. Don't deny it guys. It's pretty evident in the movies you make. But its all right. No offence taken.
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| Pictures courtesy of NewstalkZB, Scoopwhoop |
But all hope is not lost dear fellers. There is one place where you could come and ask for beef and instead of getting lynched, you would get juicy, tender sizzling beef in a plate along with the staple food of the common man in Kerala - enter Porotta alias Kerala Paratha.
The porotta is probably the only food which is available from a street vendor to a five star hotel. Its universal popularity is enough to proclaim it the national food of Kerala[2][3]. Meanwhile, the porotta has taken its fair share of criticism over the years as being unhealthy. But still we love it. Which Malayali can resist the aroma of freshly made porotta and beef in the evening? (Sorry vegans)
Considering India's political climate today, eating of beef is not just a dietary or a culinary choice, but a political choice as well. When cow protection mobs lynch people over alleged trafficking of cattle, when people are killed over alleged possession of beef, when law makers pass laws that protect the lives of bovines ahead of sapiens, when governments are keen in ensuring ambulance services for cows when children die due to lack of oxygen, we, a bunch of lungi wearing, mustache twisting Communists or Jihadis or Somalians or whatever the nonsense the cow belt hooligans call us, we, with an ego bigger than Mount Everest, who get a kick out pissing off and defying anyone who stands in our way, would keep on having our tasty beef. And if someone comes to stop us, just like Asterix takes his magic potion, we would have our plate of porotta-beef and beat the crap out of them.
"The year is 2017 CE. India is entirely occupied by cow worshippers. Well, not entirely... One small state of indomitable Malayalees still holds out against the invaders. And life is not easy here for the cow worshipping goons and buffoons who came to fight in the arenas of social media, news hour debates and most importantly, the electoral competition."
[1] for those who are not familiar with Asterix comics see here[2] along with a plate of beef
[3] although unofficially
Photos of porotta and beef shared from my instagram profile
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